Focus on your inner peace


I never knew I didn’t have peace until I understood what it meant. I prayed for it and received it but there’s a difference when you feel it AND live IN it. When you have peace NOTHING sways you. You don’t watch what the next person does or has. You don’t compete. Things come and go but you focus on your peace.

You celebrate and trust the journey. You wait your turn in stillness. Your time comes and you continue working in silence. 

Peace is not boastful, loud or proud. Peace protects you from certain people and negative things. Peace blocks out the noise. Peace likes space.

Peace gives you clarity and perspective, your desires and trials don’t disappear but you operate in wisdom. God’s voice is most audible when your heart is at peace. You’re anxious of nothing, never in a rush, just ready to receive – grateful.

Col 3:15

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Pray for peace, I’m in a great mental and spiritual space because of it.

Table for one, PLEASE

“Can I get a table outside, with a view?”
I just want to listen to my thoughts. I want to observe and introspect without looking in a glass mirror. I want to get away from the worldly noise. I want to watch the birds fly over the magnificent, vast ocean and see how simple life and its ecosystems transpire around me. I want to savour the quiet moments where I don’t have to think of the next project, who to connect with, what’s for supper or the next beauty appointment. I just want time alone, with me.
“I’ll have the three course meal and Earl Grey tea.”

table for 1
I wish to spoil myself, I deserve it. There are many things I can pat my back for, so I’m doing it over expensive cuisine. I shouldn’t wait for the next person to tell me to celebrate and live life. People are important but this moment of appreciation is just for me. I feel so calm, complete and happy.
Of course society won’t allow me to eat in peace. Her pathetic eyes are on me like a hawk and her pejorative murmurs louder than a construction site. What they see is someone with no love around or no family; a pretty picture that’s empty.
Ha! If only she knew! If she knew that my phone wouldn’t stop ringing with praise, if she knew how many invites I’ve had to reject, if she knew that I was tired of some fake smiles, if she knew how much chaos was all around, if only she knew. She would understand.
As my luck would have it, here comes a pompous Alpha, with his chest out and cologne clogging up my olfactory canal. In his head, he must be thinking that his presence will enhance my space rather than disrupt it. He tells me of my beauty, he asks if I’m expecting anyone. The shock, horror and sneaky sense of joy he gets when I tell him: “No.”
He invites himself to sit.
Didn’t he also come here alone? Doesn’t he want what I do? Does tranquillity mean anything to him? Does he know how much I have given up for this one moment?
I can’t have it ruined.
In a few hours, life and its constant whirlwind-like tendencies will take over. I have to decline because this beautiful occasion may not come again.
“I’m not lonely; I just want a table for one, please.”
Allow me.

I want to be right, ALWAYS

righteousnessIt’s not about winning; this is not a competition. I just want to be right, right with God and upright in His eyes. I see how much He values this trait and so I want to make Him happy and practice this.

Righteousness is so important to God. It takes a close second to love. Righteousness paired with justice is repeated so many times in the bible that I had to look into what an upright man is. I also noticed the many blessings that are always linked to striving and working towards being this “right person”. And boy do I want those!

Nothing is mahala (free) and working towards righteousness is a full time job. Many temptations rise to meet the challenge, suddenly bribes become easily accessible and other devilish desires seem to sprout up at a heavier speed.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t take away from the fact that righteousness needs to be sought, broken down to simple acts and understood.

I received revelation of a well-known scripture in Matthew 6:33 that reads: “But seek ye first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

When I think of a kingdom, I always think of a castle, a throne, huge land, servants, a King, queen and princesses etc. Some of these metaphors are often used in the bible, so I’ve always believed this is what this verse alluded to.

I then remembered that the kingdom of God is actually righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost. I realised that the kingdom is not a location or fixed building but a condition of the heart. This means that one can enter the kingdom where the Holy Ghost is present.

Essentially, that verse then reads: “But seek ye first His [righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Righteousness is mentioned twice in one sentence, for emphasis. It isn’t a passive gift. It must be actively sought along with peace and joy. All the things that we want and need will naturally and easily be given to us. It’s guaranteed.

All this time, my focus has been on searching and hunting for these ‘things’ that are already provided for. Instead of righteousness, peace and joy, I’ve experienced misery, stress and anxiety – a complete opposite of what God has ordained for my life.

So I read Matthew 6:25-33 again, and this is what I gathered:

I don’t have to worry about a thing. I am His daughter, He loves me, will never forsake me and He will take care of me.

So now that I am aware, things have changed (or at least starting to). My priority now is His Kingdom, entirely designed for my good and benefit.

How is awesome is that?