The Chokin Kind (of love)-Joss Stone

I was recently described as anti-relationships. I’m not offended at all. I am anti premature anything really. I went on a Twitter rampage supporting my psychological reasons of why I believe as young women we should be alone in our 20s. My main reason being that most guys around the same age group are not ready for commitment and that you will hate the beauty that is love because of a transitory “desire” therefore misconception.
Shortly after I listened to this hidden gem of Joss Stone, I knew I was on the right lane. It was also after a string of tweets of heartbreak on my timeline that I suppose, supported my sweeping statements.
Age and experience are not only viable for job vacancies ladies but are criteria we should consider before we stir up love too.
Some advice for maturity, first decide who you want to be before wanting to belong to someone else. I’d hate for you to find out later that your purpose was not realized because you felt too alone at a juvenile stage of your life.
Leverage your youthful years. You will have many years later to share with somebody else. Make friends. At least have some hope.

SCARS of Love; beauty in imperfection

“My scars tell a story:

we all have scars,

scars on our bodies,

scars on our souls.

Scars never completely go away,

but the good thing is that they don’t hurt anymore.

They show what you have been through something

and overcame it.

The scars of life don’t define your character,

they define your life’s journey.

A scar shows battles won!

Scars mean the hurt is over, the wound is closed, healed and done with.

Jesus has scars too.

He shows us the nail pierced hands, the thorn marks on His head,

the place where the spear plunged into His side.

He then says, “Scars of love, the price I paid for you.”

Every winner has a scar. I am a winner, You are a winner.

Let’s not live our lives based on our scars, but rather understand that we are now stars.”


Lose One

“To realize

The value of a sister or brother

Ask someone

Who doesn’t have one.

To realize

The value of ten years:

Ask a newly

Divorced couple.

To realize

The value of four years:

Ask a graduate.

To realize

The value of one year:

Ask a student who

Has failed a final exam.

To realize

The value of nine months:

Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize

The value of one month:

Ask a mother

Who has given birth to

A premature baby.

To realize

The value of one week:

Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize

The value of one minute:

Ask a person

Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize

The value of one second:

Ask a person

Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when

You can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:


I consider ‘lov…

I consider ‘love’ a most intricate & complex word; and among its manifold meanings is that of vulnerability arising from shared weaknesses.~ Sylvia Plath

Weight doesn’t count. THIS does

Weight doesn't count. THIS does

This picture defies dietary requirements, BMI’s, regretful photos of “how I used to look,” and every other kind of guilt we feel about ourselves when looking in the mirror. This picture brings perspective just before we self-hate. This scale is the one we should religiously wake up and measure ourselves on every day. This is what counts in life. THIS is purpose. How do you measure?

I am light

It is after reading Eat, Pray, Love that I found a new meaning to this song. I resonate with the peace the author of the book feels. I am light defines some sort of self-divinity but in my interpretation; feeling physically and emotionally “light”. All heaviness, jadedness, mourning, guilt and shame lifted off of me.
The fact that I’m in “India” in the book is just pure coincidence of the artist’s name as well, India Arie. This is a song from her new album, Songversations

You have (already) found your soul mate

I recently read a blog titled “My husband is not my soul mate,” this title bred much concern. I went on to understand what she meant,  that her dream man & descriptions of “Mr Perfect” never came to pass, but her life with her new husband was “perfect.”

Soul mate is a worldly term, yet  suggests a spiritual connection.

This term suggests that your soul mate is your husband notwithstanding the fact that it might not fit his profile. Who says you have to abide by those rules? I feel sorry for the man who has to play so many roles to try and impress a woman and in addition to that, has to prove to be her “soul mate”.

Often women miss out on a great partner all because “he wasn’t my soul mate”. How do you expect someone you JUST met to know you deeply and connect in the desired way?

If you’re lucky to have your partner as a soul mate, good for you! Chances are we have all met our soul mates already but we just haven’t realized it.

My description of a soul mate is someone I imagine having in my life for the longest possible time. Someone who listens to the same music and feels the same goosebumps (even at the same time and same places), someone who reads a bible verse or passage and shares it, not knowing how relevant it is.

My soul mate is someone I can look and feel terrible around with no remorse. With my soul mate, we can give each other a look that tells the other what we’re thinking without saying a word. Sometimes that person finishes my sentences or nods at what I’m saying even if I’ve used disambiguated lexicon.

This kind of relationship can withstand distance. It probably flourishes more as the kilometres spread further apart. This relationship isn’t based on looks but rather on how we connect; it needs no intimacy.

Now tell me which marriage could fall under this category and successfully work, at that?

Your soul mate could be your best friend, maid of honour or even a relative.

Your soul mate is probably the one you call soon after your domestic disputes, the one you travel with and invite to every family function. She’s the one you will bend over  backwards for, knowing you will get a return on your investment.

Soul mate-ism*  depends on the kind  of relationship you have with someone rather than the roles they are “meant” to play.

So let your husband be exactly what the word suggests, a husband.  There will be times of disagreement, times where he won’t “get” you or understand what you’re trying to say. He’s met you at another phase of your life, possibly long after you’ve met your soul mate. He’s your husband. Chances are he’ll get better at knowing you, become that best friend and substitute your previous soul mate. And guess what? That soul mate won’t even be jealous of the role exchange, instead she’ll be happy for you!

Also know that you’re not limited to one soul mate.

Isn’t it a warm feeling knowing you can be single forever but have a soul mate?  Isn’t it great that you can marry someone you love in all your differences and still have the another person to share your life with?

Isn’t it great to know that you can be your own soul mate if you’re happiest in your solitude?

I’m not here to sway you away from your beliefs. I’m trying to invite you into my thoughts.

Perhaps a name came into mind whilst reading this post, or it made you feel a bit more positive about your life and the people in it,  and also having a criteria or more insight for making relationship decisions.

Look around you, scroll through your call register, see whose texts you have received the most. The person who you have been sharing the most with, might just be your soul mate (for the time being)!

I have 3 soul mates, none of which spark any particular love interest. I met them in different seasons of my life and intend on maintaining those relationships until kingdom come or until so-called Mr Soul Mate pitches.

Happy Birthday Sister

Happy Birthday Sister

“Sisters, sisters
There were never such devoted sisters,
Never had to have a chaperone, no sir,
I’m there to keep my eye on her
Caring, sharing
Every little thing that we are wearing
When a certain gentleman arrived from rome
She wore the dress, and I stayed home
All kinds of weather, we stick together
The same in the rain and sun
Two different faces, but in tight places
We think and we act as one
Those who’ve seen us
Know that not a thing could come between us
Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can
Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister
And lord help the sister, who comes between me and my man”