Acceptance is the meaning of my name

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I accept that I won’t always be in control of situations.

I accept things won’t always go my way.

I accept that there will be days when I am on a natural high and days I feel  completely under.

I accept the fact that sometimes I have to wait a little longer.

I accept and consent hard lessons I have to learn and endure.

I accept that I am not always right.

I accept myself,  flaws and all. Heck – I flaunt and flirt in my illusive perfection.

I accept my weight, nose and every crooked detail of my body I often wish to change.

I accept the fact that who I am today is already part of history and 10 years from now I will be someone completely different.

I accept and own every mistake I have ever made.

I accept and consent for people to come and go in my life in their due season.

I accept you for who you choose to be.

From my day of  birth, I was received and accepted, loved and adorned and that will be my life’s trajectory.

My name is Samkelwe which means acceptance, it took a while, but I accept who God has intended for me to be.

 

 

 

Be your own WOMAN CRUSH -EVERYDAY!

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With the influence of social media which yields the pressure of showcasing “your best life,” I feel the need to remind you ladies to love on yourself and your journey of becoming.

Your identity and worth is not based on material things – I love how the bible puts it as “meaningless” and a “chasing of the wind.”

Whatever you do gain and acquire, I pray you see its value and extol gratitude to its source. I ask that you extend your hand to help those beneath you or find themselves in a less privileged position, because you too know how it feels to be in their situation.

I have no qualms about this year. I have grown fully into myself. Those who say I haven’t changed must have always seen the butterfly in me, all the while I was in my cocoon. Those who have recently encountered me are in for a whale of a time.

I’m evolving. I thank God for this.

Whatever season you find yourself in- gird your spiritual wellness and sustain your reputation. Love those who surround you to the fullest. Eat well and drink cheerfully!

Stay true to what you believe in and have a sense of humour.

These are my closing remarks of a successful year. Wishing you a wonderful festive season and purpose-driven new year!

I have so much confidence in me, in you and in this movement at large.

#Womandla

Ayikho into egqitha ikhaya lakho (There’s no place like home)

home-sweet-home

Do you know that paradoxical feeling of being full and empty at the same time? Maybe not.

I just came back from a long, overdue trip home. The weekend seemed quick as lightening,  a reflection of the speed of which this year has gone by.

I feel full in my spirit, because of:

  • The picturesque drives along the sea
  • Pop-ins at my former work and seeing my ex-colleagues (now friends)
  • My dad’s bear hugs
  • Mom’s chocolate breakfasts
  • Granny’s magwinyas
  • Ivumba le heater ye paraffin at their place
  • Brunches and lunches with my sister and besties
  • Kisses, hugs and prayers from my old church people
  • Love

Time is so valuable. People are so precious. I value every moment spent with those who route for me, support me and want nothing but the best for me. I draw strength from them.

My vernac expressions just prove how strong the longing was, how far the distance seemed, a kind of reawakening of what matters most!

I’m back  in Cape Town feeling empty, because I miss it all again.

Sinead O’Connor To Miley Cyrus: ‘The Music Business Doesn’t Give A S–t About You’ (Neither do I)

I don’t care for Miley, it doesn’t bother me that she isn’t Hannah Montana either. I knew it was all an act and therefore I wasn’t emotionally attached to her show. The fact that her “true” self is now revealed or how she chooses to make her money is not for me to judge either. What I did find profound was the concerning letter Sinead O’Connor (whom I also had no inkling of her existence) wrote to Miley, about her worth and ultimately her power to influence. This is what caught my attention. I am fully aware that this is delayed news, but it’s great to throwback. For those of you who haven’t seen it, here is the open letter to Miley. Please excuse the foul language. I also corrected the spelling or else it would annoy me. LOL

“Dear Miley,

I wasn’t going to write this letter, but today I’ve been dodging phone calls from various newspapers who wished me to remark upon your having said in Rolling Stone your Wrecking Ball video was designed to be similar to the one for Nothing Compares… So this is what I need to say… And it is said in the spirit of motherliness and with love.

 

I am extremely concerned for you that those around you have led you to believe, or encouraged you in your own belief, that it is in any way ‘cool’ to be naked and licking sledgehammers in your videos. It is in fact the case that you will obscure your talent by allowing yourself to be pimped, whether its the music business or yourself doing the pimping.

Nothing but harm will come in the long run, from allowing yourself to be exploited, and it is absolutely NOT in ANY way an empowerment of yourself or any other young women, for you to send across the message that you are to be valued (even by you) more for your sexual appeal than your obvious talent.

 

I am happy to hear I am somewhat of a role model for you and I hope that because of that you will pay close attention to what I am telling you.

 

The music business doesn’t give a shit about you, or any of us. They will prostitute you for all you are worth, and cleverly make you think it’s what YOU wanted.. and when you end up in rehab as a result of being prostituted, ‘they’ will be sunning themselves on their yachts in Antigua, which they bought by selling your body and you will find yourself very alone.

 

None of the men ogling you give a shit about you either, do not be fooled. Many’s the woman mistook lust for love. If they want you sexually that doesn’t mean they give a fuck about you. All the more true when you unwittingly give the impression you don’t give much of a fuck about yourself. And when you employ people who give the impression they don’t give much of a fuck about you either. No one who cares about you could support your being pimped.. and that includes you yourself.

 

Yes, I’m suggesting you don’t care for yourself. That has to change. You ought be protected as a precious young lady by anyone in your employ and anyone around you, including you. This is a dangerous world. We don’t encourage our daughters to walk around naked in it because it makes them prey for animals and less than animals, a distressing majority of whom work in the music industry and it’s associated media.

 

You are worth more than your body or your sexual appeal. The world of showbiz doesn’t see things that way, they like things to be seen the other way, whether they are magazines who want you on their cover, or whatever.. Don’t be under any illusions.. ALL of them want you because they’re making money off your youth and your beauty.. which they could not do except for the fact your youth makes you blind to the evils of show business. If you have an innocent heart you can’t recognise those who do not.

 

I repeat, you have enough talent that you don’t need to let the music business make a prostitute of you. You shouldn’t let them make a fool of you either. Don’t think for a moment that any of them give a flying fuck about you. They’re there for the money.. we’re there for the music. It has always been that way and it will always be that way. The sooner a young lady gets to know that, the sooner she can be REALLY in control.

 

You also said in Rolling Stone that your look is based on mine. The look I chose, I chose on purpose at a time when my record company were encouraging me to do what you have done. I felt I would rather be judged on my talent and not my looks. I am happy that I made that choice, not least because I do not find myself on the proverbial rag heap now that I am almost 47 yrs of age.. which unfortunately many female artists who have based their image around their sexuality, end up on when they reach middle age.

 

Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you. I needn’t even ask the question.. I’ve been in the business long enough to know that men are making more money than you are from you getting naked. Its really not at all cool. And its sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn’t for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with.

 

As for the shedding of the Hannah Montana image.. whoever is telling you getting naked is the way to do that does absolutely NOT respect your talent, or you as a young lady. Your records are good enough for you not to need any shedding of Hannah Montana. She’s waaaaaaay gone by now.. Not because you got naked but because you make great records.

 

Whether we like it or not, us females in the industry are role models and as such we have to be extremely careful what messages we send to other women. The message you keep sending is that its somehow cool to be prostituted.. its so not cool Miley.. its dangerous. Women are to be valued for so much more than their sexuality. we aren’t merely objects of desire. I would be encouraging you to send healthier messages to your peers.. that they and you are worth more than what is currently going on in your career. Kindly fire any motherfucker who hasn’t expressed alarm, because they don’t care about you.”

My advice to you all is that you have to “Stand for something, or fall for everything”

There is nothing attractive or good about not knowing your bounds or limits as a person.

#TalithaKoum

This is who YOU are

This is who you are

Let no one tell you who you are, how to live or who to be. Acculturation and socialization have recreated our identities so much that we sometimes forget who we really are. Define you. Be you. #TalithaKoum

Unconscious Double Life

The people I am living for are not even aware that I am.

I sense sadness everytime they ask me to do something ( I feel is extra) for them, I tend to sulk and groan.

Isn’t how I am living enough? How much more of me do they want?

I’m tired.

I can’t explain myself to them.

They don’t even know this is how I feel. I look in the mirror and don’t see Me.

Who am I? What happens when they leave? Who will I be.

I’m empty.

Is this blame shifting? Am I removing my responsibility of proving and showing my true colours?

Is this some kind of insecurity magnifying itself and substituting me?

I’m broken.

Subconscious just returned my pen, she was writing for me.

I’m not even upset. I see truth in this or is it a half truth from the other me?

I’m torn.

I’ve mentioned “me” so often as if there is a distinction.

I hope I’m not too old to start defining she. I don’t want to confuse people.

I think it’s safe to say I have failed me.

I’m sorry.Image