Crowdfunding is a job on its own

oprah.jpg

Crowdfunding has taught me a lot over the past two weeks. So much work goes into it, I should have lost weight!

Here are my learnings since I started campaigning:

Firstly, people are FOR you, they want you to win! Some don’t say it- they show it. Some people I don’t even know were just ready to give.

Secondly, community is EVERYTHING and more can seriously be achieved in numbers. In a now very western world, we are often siloed and isolated in our own worlds, we generally only want to help IF we get something back. This has taught me to be more inclusive and to be so intentionally.

Thirdly, God is abundant. He extends Himself through His people. How much more can be achieved as a body working together?
I also learnt that expectation is the mother of frustration. The people who you’ve always routed for can quickly turn into bystanders in your time of need. Expect the unexpected. Expect disappointment and silence. It is what it is.
Lastly, I learnt a deeper sense of humility, perseverance and hopefulness. I gave myself no other choice but to conquer this.
My FEES are officially paid and all that is outstanding are my flight costs. I believe God will come through for me as He has already shown.
From the bottom of my heart, I wish to thank you all for your seed. May you be blessed with a great harvest! A little certainly goes a LONG way and because of you, I am on my way to the United Nations!
Literally counting down the weeks, days and minutes.

#WomandlaToTheWorld

Sick of my dreams

I threw up everywhere. All over the floor, all over my bed. I was gasping for air and feeling completely overwhelmed. I’m sure I was having some sort of psychosomatic disorder, all brought on by my dreams.

Yes my dreams. They were not nightmares at all. They were too many, a plethora of active dreams keeping me awake, giving me night sweats and the worst kind of anxiety.

I’ve been feeling bereaved and lost for the longest time.

What on earth am I here for? Seriously, why do I wake up every single day? What difference am I making, what goal am I conquering, what view am I shaping?

Life cannot be about paying bills.

girl staring in fire

The pressure is insurmountable. The burden of having to tick my bucket list items is going to make me burst. Actually, I am bubbling right now.

Of course my family doesn’t understand. They keep telling me to wait it out, to see if something comes up, they want me to wait for tomorrow. The very same tomorrow that may never come. That tomorrow that is not promised. So I must wait for uncertainty, instead of paving my own life, dreams and meeting opportunity as I go along. They mean well, I know that. But I can’t wait. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I can’t- anything.

I am plagued by the vastness of my dreams. My mind is everywhere. Then there is this security lie that I am at war with. These man-made boundaries and industries making one feel enclosed and sheltered. They’re just money-making psychological structures. Ploys to keep you at bay. Not even the security I pay for, completely covers me. Why then are there terms and conditions?

Let me pray.

“BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD! I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU”

Ahhhh, and then I hear a clear, recognizable and soothing voice in my spirit! Peace. Thank you for visiting me. I have missed you.

I slept well for the first time in a long time. I slept knowing I can do it all if I just pace myself.

I woke up and quit my job.

Keys to your happy ending

“Girls are taught a lot of things growing up;

If a guy punches you he likes you

Never trim your own bangs,

Some day you will meet a wonderful guy and get your own happy ending.

blah blah blah

Every movie we see, every story we’re told, implores us to wait for it;

this third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the expectation rule etc.

But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending, we don’t learn how to read signs.

Like,

How to tell (the difference) the ones who want us from the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who won’t.

And maybe this happy ending doesn’t include a wonderful guy.

Maybe it’s you on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for the future.

Maybe the happy ending is this:

-Knowing that all the unreturned phone calls and broken hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and the embarrassment..

YOU NEVER… EVER…ever gave up HOPE.”

You HAVE to believe

You HAVE to believe

In a cause, in yourself, in faith, in others, in most things. This is the seed of which all your hopes flourish and grow. This is step 1, an ordinance, of having ALL your desires come to pass. Believe