Focus on your inner peace

still-waters

I never knew I didn’t have peace until I understood what it meant. I prayed for it and received it but there’s a difference when you feel it AND live IN it. When you have peace NOTHING sways you. You don’t watch what the next person does or has. You don’t compete. Things come and go but you focus on your peace.

You celebrate and trust the journey. You wait your turn in stillness. Your time comes and you continue working in silence. 

Peace is not boastful, loud or proud. Peace protects you from certain people and negative things. Peace blocks out the noise. Peace likes space.

Peace gives you clarity and perspective, your desires and trials don’t disappear but you operate in wisdom. God’s voice is most audible when your heart is at peace. You’re anxious of nothing, never in a rush, just ready to receive – grateful.

Col 3:15

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Pray for peace, I’m in a great mental and spiritual space because of it.

Be your own WOMAN CRUSH -EVERYDAY!

afriq.jpg

With the influence of social media which yields the pressure of showcasing “your best life,” I feel the need to remind you ladies to love on yourself and your journey of becoming.

Your identity and worth is not based on material things – I love how the bible puts it as “meaningless” and a “chasing of the wind.”

Whatever you do gain and acquire, I pray you see its value and extol gratitude to its source. I ask that you extend your hand to help those beneath you or find themselves in a less privileged position, because you too know how it feels to be in their situation.

I have no qualms about this year. I have grown fully into myself. Those who say I haven’t changed must have always seen the butterfly in me, all the while I was in my cocoon. Those who have recently encountered me are in for a whale of a time.

I’m evolving. I thank God for this.

Whatever season you find yourself in- gird your spiritual wellness and sustain your reputation. Love those who surround you to the fullest. Eat well and drink cheerfully!

Stay true to what you believe in and have a sense of humour.

These are my closing remarks of a successful year. Wishing you a wonderful festive season and purpose-driven new year!

I have so much confidence in me, in you and in this movement at large.

#Womandla

Ayikho into egqitha ikhaya lakho (There’s no place like home)

home-sweet-home

Do you know that paradoxical feeling of being full and empty at the same time? Maybe not.

I just came back from a long, overdue trip home. The weekend seemed quick as lightening,  a reflection of the speed of which this year has gone by.

I feel full in my spirit, because of:

  • The picturesque drives along the sea
  • Pop-ins at my former work and seeing my ex-colleagues (now friends)
  • My dad’s bear hugs
  • Mom’s chocolate breakfasts
  • Granny’s magwinyas
  • Ivumba le heater ye paraffin at their place
  • Brunches and lunches with my sister and besties
  • Kisses, hugs and prayers from my old church people
  • Love

Time is so valuable. People are so precious. I value every moment spent with those who route for me, support me and want nothing but the best for me. I draw strength from them.

My vernac expressions just prove how strong the longing was, how far the distance seemed, a kind of reawakening of what matters most!

I’m back  in Cape Town feeling empty, because I miss it all again.

Indebted to my Dreams

I have been on a blogging hiatus for no apparent reason. I apologize. I find myself sounding like such an adult lately by saying life is just so busy, but honestly it is.

This concerns me (sort of) because, I know God speaks through me the most in this time of reflection and so ignoring it would be limiting His revelation.

But let’s cut to the chase. I am here to talk about dreams and how taxing they are. Physically, emotionally, financially and sometimes even relationally.

Again, I find myself moving to better prospects, therefore leaving my comfortable abode (that took several other moves to find) only to pack up and move again.

I felt like a nomad at some point. I started feeling like I am unstable and somewhat disloyal, but how dare I throw that in the face of my dreams?

Who said that one has to stay at one particular place for x amount of months, years, decades in order for them to conquer their dreams?

My talents and abilities pull me in all sorts of directions and do so at different intervals.

When there is a call on your life which is supported by a vision board that reminds you EVERYDAY of all the things you’d like to do, you live life with achieving those goals in mind notwithstanding societal norms. vision board

For me, my vocational journey has been supported by prayer. Every single year, God accelerates my advancements so far that it supersedes my expectation. I have dreams of cars I want to be driving and property I should be owning, places I should be traveling (as a measure of my success) then something pulls me back.

Matthew 20:16 “Those who come first will be last. Those who are last will come first.”

Chance happens to us all. Life is a journey and anything rushed will flutter by just as quickly. Instead of trying to keep up with the Jones’s by having fancy car debt, credit cards of a certain tier and Great Gatsby Instagram photos, let me grow my investment portfolio, serve the community more and use what I have for God’s glory.  Everything He touches multiplies anyway.

To you it may be moving back to your parents’ home to save, downgrading your car to invest or working two jobs to reach that 10 000 hours of success standing. Whatever it is, be indebted to your dreams first and see how the ‘things’ just avail themselves on the journey!

 

 

You’re gonna be loved

You’re gonna be loved and
Have no reason not to love
Back how you’re loved good.

You’re gonna be loved and
Fall for yourself in how they
Love the love in you.

You’re gonna be loved and
Not want it harmed. Not even
By you.

You’re gonna be loved
Enough for you to prune
Away your thorns, break away
Your walls, calm away your storms,
Shave away your scorn and do away
With the pain that pierces today from
Your past.

You’re gonna be loved and love won’t
Feel like an everyday war with God.

You’re gonna be won.

A heart priced by heaven for
Choosing itself to love and fill
Before any other.

A mind that loved its own peace
So much peace became its power.

The power and love you gave you
Became the love ten times you
Attracted for yourself to enjoy
As sheer proof that doing you
Was a better play, a great
Choice and the winning
Move.

You will be loved and true
Love can’t wait to know the best
Parts that rose from the worst in
You.

You deserve it too. All because
You’re choosing you.

– Hakeem Anderson-Lesolang

There is no difference between life and a beauty pageant

I sometimes consider life to be like a pageant. Pretentious, competitive and an arduous battle.

People tend to go out of their way to impress the judges; to win the coveted crown and title.  Some turn to sabotaging their opposition and engage in immoral activities all to prove their worthiness. The irony of it all is that those competing are completely different yet so badly want the same thing.

Some contestants are insecure and you watch them mimicking others’ behaviour. The overly confident ones are like that because they are compensating for their insecurities.

Life is suddenly a complete juxtaposition of seeking ephemeral reward versus gaining eternal fulfilment.

The thing about pageants is that the judges seek a match for certain criteria and they will continuously tell you what you’re doing wrong instead of celebrating your strengths and affirming what you are doing right.

The saddest part is that we wilfully participate in these competitions because we want to stand out, because we are told that we belong to a certain mould or because we do not want to be rejected by society.

The danger about seeking approval from society is that you will never win. Being a loser goes against God’s word of saying you are victorious and more than a conqueror. How do you dominate and become fruitful with a defeated mentality?

The meaning of life is to give life meaning. When God asks you to go, you cannot be waiting for anyone else’s approval before you act.  God will use you as He created you, remembering the fact that you are made in His perfect image. God will give you experiences (bearable others not) that will shape you, humble you and make you complete.

God has handpicked you.  He has made you the head and not the tail, above and not beneath. He has bestowed upon you a crown of splendour that no pageant title can ever award.

Relish in that, because you already are a royal priesthood and a chosen generation!

pageant

He knows me

holy-cross

He knows me. Intimately.  In the correct sense of the word.

Deeply.

He knows the number of hairs on my head.

He knows the hairs left on my comb.

That’s how closely He watches over me.

He knows my scent. He distinguishes me from the rest.

Oh how He loves me!

He called me. He knew precisely what to dial. I answered Him.

He told me I was royal, He said He chose me, He called me peculiar.

I cried.

For a while now, I’ve been looking for Perfect Love. Only in Him have I found it.

He embodies it. He is it.

I feel so secure and accepted in my strangeness.

His love has casted out all my fears.

He is all that matters.

He knows me because He made me.

Fearfully and wonderfully.

He carefully knitted my DNA helix. He painstakingly arranged my chromosomes.

He used Himself as a prototype.

Then He planted me in my mother’s womb.

I am not alone. He is here with me. He walks with me.

He will never leave me nor forsake me.

He cares deeply for me. He knows everything about me.

That dream, that desire, that feeling, that habit, that secret, that thought, that person, that list and that plan…

He knows.

A prayer to push…

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,

When our dreams have come true

Because we have dreamed too little,

When we arrived safely

Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess

We have lost our thirst

For the waters of life;

Having fallen in love with life,

We have ceased to dream of eternity

And in our efforts to build a new earth,

We have allowed our vision

Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas

Where storms will show your mastery;

Where losing sight of land,

We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;

And to push into the future

In strength, courage, hope, and love.

Work, Get, Build

I read the book Eat, Pray, Love and it changed my life for the best. I completely followed Liz’s advice in principle…. well until a certain point. Weaning off a bond that looked good on paper was one of the toughest things I had to go through.

The courage that it takes to leave the life that you have planned for the life predestined for you is insurmountable.

I don’t know what kind of budget Liz had to travel the world but I’m still trusting God for it. My journey wasn’t as physical as hers, but I certainly went on a hundred in terms of the spiritual plane.

At the time when I read the book, I believed it was God speaking to me. It was the only way that He could because I only picked up the bible on a Sunday.

Fast forward to a wonderful, budding relationship with Him, I realised I needed wise words that came directly from Him, from His heart and mind about being a single woman.

Through meditation, He gave me three steps in Proverbs 24:27

  1. Finish your outdoor work
  2. Get your fields ready
  3. [after that] Build your house

There is a divine order to be followed. Many of us tend to skip the first two steps and rearrange the order. We do this because of our own desires, to fill certain voids or to speed through and get stuff to prove that we are “successful.”

According to the list, the first step that I am meant to do is to help others that are outside of my confines. It’s easy to do favours for people you love, but God has commanded us to feed the poor, spread the gospel and show genuine love to people. This means I have to help out at NGO’s, care for the environment and community at large. This is what God expects from all His children, for us to serve.

Secondly, I need to prepare my fields and make sure that they are ready. See, I am not a farmer so this step must allude to savings plans, investing, starting a business, growing relationships and networks etc. as this is what fields mean metaphorically in the word. I need to start investigating trust funds, comparing insurances, evaluating property markets and essentially create good ground for the next and final stage.

“After that” are words purposefully used to show that a lot of work goes into building a home before being completely financially and emotionally ready.

God wants me to be co-dependant, independent and interdependent. As single (and sometimes desperate) ladies we rush for the husband, children and white picket fence ideal as if we will never get there. We base our whole lives on the third step.

Through this, I have learned that He wants me to have compassion for others first, he wants me to lack nothing so that I can sow back in His kingdom and he wants me to be happy and have the life I deserve. He wants that for all of us.

But first things must come first and I am taking on the challenge with the end goal in mind. Who knows, while I am serving, or doing business and following God’s divine order, I may meet the person who I am to build a home with.

This ticks all the boxes on God’s list and gives me hope that I too get a sweet end to the stick.

Winning!

I want to be right, ALWAYS

righteousnessIt’s not about winning; this is not a competition. I just want to be right, right with God and upright in His eyes. I see how much He values this trait and so I want to make Him happy and practice this.

Righteousness is so important to God. It takes a close second to love. Righteousness paired with justice is repeated so many times in the bible that I had to look into what an upright man is. I also noticed the many blessings that are always linked to striving and working towards being this “right person”. And boy do I want those!

Nothing is mahala (free) and working towards righteousness is a full time job. Many temptations rise to meet the challenge, suddenly bribes become easily accessible and other devilish desires seem to sprout up at a heavier speed.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t take away from the fact that righteousness needs to be sought, broken down to simple acts and understood.

I received revelation of a well-known scripture in Matthew 6:33 that reads: “But seek ye first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

When I think of a kingdom, I always think of a castle, a throne, huge land, servants, a King, queen and princesses etc. Some of these metaphors are often used in the bible, so I’ve always believed this is what this verse alluded to.

I then remembered that the kingdom of God is actually righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost. I realised that the kingdom is not a location or fixed building but a condition of the heart. This means that one can enter the kingdom where the Holy Ghost is present.

Essentially, that verse then reads: “But seek ye first His [righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Righteousness is mentioned twice in one sentence, for emphasis. It isn’t a passive gift. It must be actively sought along with peace and joy. All the things that we want and need will naturally and easily be given to us. It’s guaranteed.

All this time, my focus has been on searching and hunting for these ‘things’ that are already provided for. Instead of righteousness, peace and joy, I’ve experienced misery, stress and anxiety – a complete opposite of what God has ordained for my life.

So I read Matthew 6:25-33 again, and this is what I gathered:

I don’t have to worry about a thing. I am His daughter, He loves me, will never forsake me and He will take care of me.

So now that I am aware, things have changed (or at least starting to). My priority now is His Kingdom, entirely designed for my good and benefit.

How is awesome is that?