I recently read a blog titled “My husband is not my soul mate,” this title bred much concern. I went on to understand what she meant, that her dream man & descriptions of “Mr Perfect” never came to pass, but her life with her new husband was “perfect.”
Soul mate is a worldly term, yet suggests a spiritual connection.
This term suggests that your soul mate is your husband notwithstanding the fact that it might not fit his profile. Who says you have to abide by those rules? I feel sorry for the man who has to play so many roles to try and impress a woman and in addition to that, has to prove to be her “soul mate”.
Often women miss out on a great partner all because “he wasn’t my soul mate”. How do you expect someone you JUST met to know you deeply and connect in the desired way?
If you’re lucky to have your partner as a soul mate, good for you! Chances are we have all met our soul mates already but we just haven’t realized it.
My description of a soul mate is someone I imagine having in my life for the longest possible time. Someone who listens to the same music and feels the same goosebumps (even at the same time and same places), someone who reads a bible verse or passage and shares it, not knowing how relevant it is.
My soul mate is someone I can look and feel terrible around with no remorse. With my soul mate, we can give each other a look that tells the other what we’re thinking without saying a word. Sometimes that person finishes my sentences or nods at what I’m saying even if I’ve used disambiguated lexicon.
This kind of relationship can withstand distance. It probably flourishes more as the kilometres spread further apart. This relationship isn’t based on looks but rather on how we connect; it needs no intimacy.
Now tell me which marriage could fall under this category and successfully work, at that?
Your soul mate could be your best friend, maid of honour or even a relative.
Your soul mate is probably the one you call soon after your domestic disputes, the one you travel with and invite to every family function. She’s the one you will bend over backwards for, knowing you will get a return on your investment.
Soul mate-ism* depends on the kind of relationship you have with someone rather than the roles they are “meant” to play.
So let your husband be exactly what the word suggests, a husband. There will be times of disagreement, times where he won’t “get” you or understand what you’re trying to say. He’s met you at another phase of your life, possibly long after you’ve met your soul mate. He’s your husband. Chances are he’ll get better at knowing you, become that best friend and substitute your previous soul mate. And guess what? That soul mate won’t even be jealous of the role exchange, instead she’ll be happy for you!
Also know that you’re not limited to one soul mate.
Isn’t it a warm feeling knowing you can be single forever but have a soul mate? Isn’t it great that you can marry someone you love in all your differences and still have the another person to share your life with?
Isn’t it great to know that you can be your own soul mate if you’re happiest in your solitude?
I’m not here to sway you away from your beliefs. I’m trying to invite you into my thoughts.
Perhaps a name came into mind whilst reading this post, or it made you feel a bit more positive about your life and the people in it, and also having a criteria or more insight for making relationship decisions.
Look around you, scroll through your call register, see whose texts you have received the most. The person who you have been sharing the most with, might just be your soul mate (for the time being)!
I have 3 soul mates, none of which spark any particular love interest. I met them in different seasons of my life and intend on maintaining those relationships until kingdom come or until so-called Mr Soul Mate pitches.
I have no words.
I have nothing to say.
All I have are feelings.
That’s what I shall describe.
The feeling of not being enough.
The feeling of unimportance.
I’m not worthy of being fought for.
Besides my words, I have a greater loss.
Loss of respect, loss of fortitude.
So all I had, (which were my feelings) are gone.
There’s some pain.
My heartbeat thumps harder, my bones rattle, my body slouches. I feel lifeless.
My aorta, atria and ventricles burst open. I’m bleeding.
I’m sore. Sore for you too. Your blindness hurts. The fact that you couldn’t see me wave as I drowned.
You chose to purge me. Silly me thought you were dead to me, meanwhile I was a long gone fossil to you.
If not, then why? I have so many questions.