Ayikho into egqitha ikhaya lakho (There’s no place like home)

home-sweet-home

Do you know that paradoxical feeling of being full and empty at the same time? Maybe not.

I just came back from a long, overdue trip home. The weekend seemed quick as lightening,  a reflection of the speed of which this year has gone by.

I feel full in my spirit, because of:

  • The picturesque drives along the sea
  • Pop-ins at my former work and seeing my ex-colleagues (now friends)
  • My dad’s bear hugs
  • Mom’s chocolate breakfasts
  • Granny’s magwinyas
  • Ivumba le heater ye paraffin at their place
  • Brunches and lunches with my sister and besties
  • Kisses, hugs and prayers from my old church people
  • Love

Time is so valuable. People are so precious. I value every moment spent with those who route for me, support me and want nothing but the best for me. I draw strength from them.

My vernac expressions just prove how strong the longing was, how far the distance seemed, a kind of reawakening of what matters most!

I’m back  in Cape Town feeling empty, because I miss it all again.

15 things you should do at least once in your life

For the leaders of our country, Forgive them Father-Lauryn Hill

This song is about the power that people covet and desire. The way they manipulate things to suit their needs. They pretend to be your friends even close as a brother and in so doing they gain access and an upper hand. Their ulterior motives are masqueraded as love, service delivery, homage being paid to late veterans and so on.

This storyline became so real and tangible over the past weekend where we, as South Africans, were granted a last chance to register for elections. Politicians pulled out all the stops to make sure we know how busy they are creating better lives for all. Although violent protests and boycotts, due to lack of service delivery in various parts of country, were being exercised, it spoke volumes of the dire living conditions of many people who after 20 years of democracy still know no freedom.

I’m praying for a change in the political climate of our country, for our leaders, citizens, homes and just for all kinds of relationships.

This goes far beyond our country. This starts in our homes. This starts with self.

Though I say I am apolitical it doesn’t mean that I’m unconscious.

This song hit home, the silver lyrical lining encapsulates the dark cloud (of judgment)

Read the lyrics.

We Live and We Learn

It’s funny how I have the MOST motivation to write when I am coming from a place smothered in pain. I need to learn to find inspiration to reflect when my days are brighter too.

What I do know is what I feel now, someone else has felt before. What I have already conquered someone out there is about to enter this dreaded dark season. BUT, we live and we learn.

Okay, so I’m thinking of ending this post on a light note, you know the Fairytale kind-of ending, but we will see what lessons God wants us all to learn.

This is my testimony.

I have always respected and nursed friendships. Even the toxic kinds, just for time’s sake. I always think that a particular friendship worked at some stage so I don’t see the point of calling it quits now. I feel that the flame is gone but here I always am, trying to reignite the spark. Call me Lady Liberty if you will LOL

I think here lies my problem . The fact that I am ALWAYS there. When a friend’s parent dies, I’ll be there. When there’s a fight, I support. When a friend’s boyfriend breaks her heart. I mould. When she achieves something, I celebrate. It seems as if I have no life right? Because I am absent of myself and there for you.

I like it though. Loyalty is something I hold dear to my heart. I feel like I am my brother’s keeper. So it isn’t really a problem. More of a purpose.

Whether you’re close or far away from me, I’m sure I’ve tried to help you in some way. At some point I expected a return on investment but seems I was looking in the wrong place. My reward is in Christ. Only He has my back.

I learnt that as much as I put in I sometimes won’t get the same out. So what I do out of my heart can not be calculated. God says “Blessed are the persecuted” and the world dubs the same idea as having “Haters.” So no matter how much Right I do, something or someone else will have something negative to say.  Yes I was burnt and will continue to be, but life goes on. We learn lessons in order to grow.

Whatever it is that you feel was unfair or unjust, always make sure that your intent and message was positive. Someone is watching, a reward is being prepared for you.

Heal and Trust.