Indebted to my Dreams

I have been on a blogging hiatus for no apparent reason. I apologize. I find myself sounding like such an adult lately by saying life is just so busy, but honestly it is.

This concerns me (sort of) because, I know God speaks through me the most in this time of reflection and so ignoring it would be limiting His revelation.

But let’s cut to the chase. I am here to talk about dreams and how taxing they are. Physically, emotionally, financially and sometimes even relationally.

Again, I find myself moving to better prospects, therefore leaving my comfortable abode (that took several other moves to find) only to pack up and move again.

I felt like a nomad at some point. I started feeling like I am unstable and somewhat disloyal, but how dare I throw that in the face of my dreams?

Who said that one has to stay at one particular place for x amount of months, years, decades in order for them to conquer their dreams?

My talents and abilities pull me in all sorts of directions and do so at different intervals.

When there is a call on your life which is supported by a vision board that reminds you EVERYDAY of all the things you’d like to do, you live life with achieving those goals in mind notwithstanding societal norms. vision board

For me, my vocational journey has been supported by prayer. Every single year, God accelerates my advancements so far that it supersedes my expectation. I have dreams of cars I want to be driving and property I should be owning, places I should be traveling (as a measure of my success) then something pulls me back.

Matthew 20:16 “Those who come first will be last. Those who are last will come first.”

Chance happens to us all. Life is a journey and anything rushed will flutter by just as quickly. Instead of trying to keep up with the Jones’s by having fancy car debt, credit cards of a certain tier and Great Gatsby Instagram photos, let me grow my investment portfolio, serve the community more and use what I have for God’s glory.  Everything He touches multiplies anyway.

To you it may be moving back to your parents’ home to save, downgrading your car to invest or working two jobs to reach that 10 000 hours of success standing. Whatever it is, be indebted to your dreams first and see how the ‘things’ just avail themselves on the journey!

 

 

A prayer to push…

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,

When our dreams have come true

Because we have dreamed too little,

When we arrived safely

Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess

We have lost our thirst

For the waters of life;

Having fallen in love with life,

We have ceased to dream of eternity

And in our efforts to build a new earth,

We have allowed our vision

Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas

Where storms will show your mastery;

Where losing sight of land,

We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;

And to push into the future

In strength, courage, hope, and love.

You HAVE to believe

You HAVE to believe

In a cause, in yourself, in faith, in others, in most things. This is the seed of which all your hopes flourish and grow. This is step 1, an ordinance, of having ALL your desires come to pass. Believe

I’d rather have the right God than the wrong man

SINGLE AND NOT WAITING

Posted by  on Thursday, October 24, 2013 

 

Flickr photo by Acy Varlan

Flickr photo by Acy Varlan

I’m 23, I just graduated from university, and I’m single.

Many of my friends are married, and a few are starting to have children. And I feel as if I just graduated from high school again. You could say my life is in transition. And it’s true; I am in the middle of shifting myself from university to the career world. But I’ve started to wonder about whether it’s right to refer to my singleness as an in-between stage.

What exactly am I in-between again?

“It’s the first day of the rest of my life.” I recently I heard someone on TV say this about her wedding day, and it really bothered me. While I don’t want to discount the gift of marriage, I must say I’m a bit confused and frustrated with this sentiment. I’ve heard the cliché before, but I suddenly felt the weight of it. As if it equates marriage as the start of life, or at least the good part.

Don’t misunderstand my frustration; I think there is a beautiful element of starting a new family with your spouse. I’m all for godly marriage. But what I’m afraid of is viewing life through the lens of marriage as the goal. For waiting to get married before life starts.

I’m afraid, because I’m afraid it has happened to me. I’ve been living like I’m waiting for someone to get here. And it isn’t Jesus.

I’ve wasted my time, my energy, and my emotions on this concept that singleness is just a waiting room for a relationship. I’m tired of this view that my life begins when I wake up next to my husband, because I’m pretty sure my life began 23 years ago when my mom gave birth. And this mentality has robbed my joy.

As much as I’d like to place all the blame on Christian culture, the perpetual “Have you met anyone yet?” question the world asks me, and the reality that my Facebook feed looks more like a Pinterest wedding board these days, I am convicted of my own failures.

I’ve been living like God owes me something. Like he hasn’t held up his end of the deal. He has given me the desire for relationship and marriage, and he just hasn’t followed through.

I’ve been living under the impression that I deserve a relationship.

I’d be lying if I said Christian culture does much to inhibit this mentality. There seems to be a deep understanding and appreciation for the gift of marriage, but not so much for the gift of singleness (if it’s treated like a gift at all). Rather, singleness is something to be cured. Like I’ve got a disease, and introducing me to your single friend might perhaps cure us both. Singleness is the lump of coal, the gift that is never on your Christmas list.

There are at least a handful of us standing around, wondering what happened. (After all, I have been pretty nice this year.)

But it’s never been about being entitled, or even about being nice. I have to stop thinking that I’m doing something wrong here.

Well actually I am, but it isn’t about fixing something that will magically make a boyfriend appear. It is about changing the direction of my heart.

 “I’d rather have the right God than the wrong man.” –- Christen Rapske

People talk all the time about pursuing people or things for the wrong reasons, but maybe we pursue God for the wrong reasons. Maybe subconsciously I’ve been treating God like he’s a vending machine. And my pursuit of him has really been a pursuit of someone else.

When did Christ cease to be enough?

And when did I stop finding my identity, self-worth, and fulfillment in Him, only to place my life on hold for someone I’ve never even met?

Each day is a gift, and I’m not waiting for it to get here. It is present in every moment, and it begins anew daily.  Man-less or not, I want to wake up every morning and be excited because I get to spend my day with the God who created the universe.

And I want to do that for the rest of my life.