Destroy distractions before they destroy you!

foucs.jpegDestroying a distraction is one of the hardest things to do. Temptation creeps at you like a thief in the night and leaves you more vulnerable than when you fell for it. The Master Deceiver lets you believe that the distraction is actually a much needed hiatus from what you were focused on. Oftentimes when you’re nearing a breakthrough, your patience and passion waivers, your energy levels are dramatically reduced and your relationship with God may be put asunder – this becomes the perfect opportunity for a distraction to present itself.

Sometimes you don’t even have to be in that space. You may have a vision, broken down into goals and just before you kick off the first step, a distraction comes along that keeps you in your comfort zone for longer than planned, stalls your movement, wastes your time and sometimes redirects you to an unrelated path as opposed to your desired destination.

Distractions are like drugs. You don’t recognize their power at first and you seem to have things in control. Like all things new (sometimes not so new – as it may be a relapse), it seems fun, pleasurable, addictive and brings some sort of release/relief; it starts growing on you.

Next thing you realize how much time has gone by, how little you have achieved and then put yourself under stress and duress for not realizing it sooner.

Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Find an accountability partner who checks on your progress and well-being. Find a mature mentor with a broad view on life. This will aid you in keeping focused and also encourage you to carry on and move on. Also, have Cheesecake – it tends to pick me up when I feel drained.

But most importantly, pray. You will feel lighter from within and ready to go AGAIN.

I am marrying myself!

There are so many blogs and articles on who you should marry, what you should look for in a guy/girl and basically the order and steps to follow in life with regards to marriage. (Have those 10-step articles ever worked for anybody? Just wondering)

I am at the age where engagements and talks of marriage are on a record high. People feel the need to direct me towards my “perfect fit.” I haven’t been told anything about my eggs yet (thank God) but I feel that kind of talk is steadily on its way.

I don’t feel any pressure though. I find it all ludicrous to think we all will follow the same suit, as if it’s a rite of passage of being a woman.

Anyway, this talk made me feel happy and brought me closer to myself. It put things in perspective and made me value myself even more than I already do. Not in a vain kind of way, but to promise myself certain things and not long for them from someone else.

I will have more honest conversations with myself in order for me not to be misled by wish lists, fantasies, emotions and fleeting feelings.

So just like Tracy McMillan, I am marrying myself. (for now LOL)

At this moment, I am grateful for the internet. Her life lessons have become mine, with much less experience and lesser pain. I don’t have to go through what she has, but I can draw from her life story and become a better person for myself and my person.

I urge you to keep that long list of “wants” in a partner at the back of your mind and write yourself a letter of how kinder you can be to yourself.

As I write my vows, to myself…