He’s a cheap date!

I used to often laugh when my Pastor spoke about stingy men. He called them “AmaSkorokoro” in jest, advising us to run for our lives when we see snippets of scrooge-like tendencies. The premise was never focused on gold digging, but merely to teach us all how ladies should be treated and how crafty some men can be.

A lifetime ago some bloke tried “cute” things I considered paltry. I’d mention a residential area that I liked, he’d say he would want to RETIRE there, I’d talk about a career move and he’d brag about an offer he ONCE received. I bought myself two pairs of shoes- on sale- (one for an event and one for…. life) and he said the women he married would have no say in his finances.

I was deeply perplexed because this conversation was about my everyday life and preferences, yet he took it personally, as if I’d asked for his permission or help in ANY of these things.

Ebendibona mos ku Instagram? Endibona naku LinkedIN? (He saw my posts on LinkedIn and Instagram)

HELLO. HASHTAG. LEVELS!

“Friends, if you are in the standard grade class- stay and excel there. Leave HIGHER GRADE things to the boffins.”- Samkelwe Gqomo 2016

I didn’t want anything of his, I was just sharing. Also, he should’ve noticed my lifestyle and done the math. He was obviously looking for love in the wrong place.

Love is not based on someone’s beauty. Love is not about wearing the other person down. Love is not reducing someone’s standard. Love is not so selfish or limiting. Yes, love is not about money,  but it is CERTAINLY not asking if the bread offered at a restaurant is FREE either.

Boy BYE!

cheap-man

What To Expect When Dating A Woman Who’s Been Single For A Long Time

by: Andrea Wesley

When you meet a woman who’s been single long-term and embark on a relationship together, there are some big differences you’ll notice from your past loves. For her, the transition from being completely independent to having someone around is a huge adjustment. She’s a harder nut to crack, so to speak, but once you figure her out, you’ll soon realize how absolutely worth it she is.

1. She’s used to alone time. She’s completely embraced the act of being alone and as such, she’s used to completing many life tasks and making attendances to gatherings solo. Having someone to do things with will be foreign at first, and she might opt to continue certain projects alone or hole up in her apartment to binge watch her favorite Netflix shows when you wish she was spending time with you instead. She needs a gradual transition into coupledom, so try to be patient.

2. She has protective walls in place. She’s been hurt before, which is likely the reason she’s spent a lot of time on her own. She’s more in tune with what she wants and needs in a partner, so she makes her selections carefully and keeps certain entrance points to her heart protected until she knows she can completely trust that your intentions are good and pure.

3. She wants to be vulnerable, but it takes a little more time. If she’s dating you, it’s because she really likes you. She’s probably crazier about you than you think, she just doesn’t show it as easily because she wants to be completely sure before she lets herself truly fall for you. She takes her time getting to know you before she rushes in full speed ahead because what she’s looking for is a long-lasting bond and she won’t sacrifice all the work she’s done on herself to achieve it.

4. She’s incredibly strong. She’s the definition of Miss Independent. She’s learned to be completely comfortable handling all of life’s challenges solo and because of this, she’s fiercely strong in a way that may make you wonder if she even wants you around. She does, which is why she’s dating you in the first place. This is also why she makes a great girlfriend, because she wants to date you despite having her life handled on her own.

5. You’ll wonder if she really likes you. She might not say overly flirty things in the beginning because she’s still figuring out in her head if it’s safe to do so. She’s no stranger to being let down and disappointed in relationships, so she really just needs a chance to sort it out in her head before she feels safe enough to let you in on how she’s feeling. If you’re patient and show that you can be trusted, you’ll feel more cared about than ever before, because when she actually shows her cards, she lays them down with her whole heart.

6. She’s scared. She’ll be apprehensive and at times she might even push back in fear of losing control of herself, since her control is her security. Keeping her emotions in check is the only thing she knows, so when she starts to feel real feelings, it catches her off guard and can make her feel like she needs to retreat temporarily to regain control of herself. It’s not personal, and she’ll come back.

7. She’s not used to having help, but eventually she’ll embrace it. If you try to offer her help and she declines, it might make you feel useless in her life. It isn’t intentional, she’s just used to doing everything and anything she needs to with her own two hands. Soon enough, though, you’ll be opening all her pickle jars and helping her with the heavy loads of groceries she carries expertly in one trip.

8. She doesn’t need you, she chose you. Above anything else, despite being completely OK on her own and content with handling all of life’s responsibilities solo, she’s chosen to invest her time and take a chance with you. It’s the purest form of affection and desire you could ever hope for, because the girl that’s been single for a long time doesn’t necessarily need a man in her life, but she’s chosen you anyway. She’s spent the time getting to know what she wants, and if you’re the one she’s picked, then congratulations — she’s a definite keeper.

– See more at: http://thebolde.com/what-to-expect-when-dating-a-woman-whos-been-single-for-a-long-time/#sthash.twIsDIG4.dpuf