Focus on your inner peace

still-waters

I never knew I didn’t have peace until I understood what it meant. I prayed for it and received it but there’s a difference when you feel it AND live IN it. When you have peace NOTHING sways you. You don’t watch what the next person does or has. You don’t compete. Things come and go but you focus on your peace.

You celebrate and trust the journey. You wait your turn in stillness. Your time comes and you continue working in silence. 

Peace is not boastful, loud or proud. Peace protects you from certain people and negative things. Peace blocks out the noise. Peace likes space.

Peace gives you clarity and perspective, your desires and trials don’t disappear but you operate in wisdom. God’s voice is most audible when your heart is at peace. You’re anxious of nothing, never in a rush, just ready to receive – grateful.

Col 3:15

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Pray for peace, I’m in a great mental and spiritual space because of it.

Sick of my dreams

I threw up everywhere. All over the floor, all over my bed. I was gasping for air and feeling completely overwhelmed. I’m sure I was having some sort of psychosomatic disorder, all brought on by my dreams.

Yes my dreams. They were not nightmares at all. They were too many, a plethora of active dreams keeping me awake, giving me night sweats and the worst kind of anxiety.

I’ve been feeling bereaved and lost for the longest time.

What on earth am I here for? Seriously, why do I wake up every single day? What difference am I making, what goal am I conquering, what view am I shaping?

Life cannot be about paying bills.

girl staring in fire

The pressure is insurmountable. The burden of having to tick my bucket list items is going to make me burst. Actually, I am bubbling right now.

Of course my family doesn’t understand. They keep telling me to wait it out, to see if something comes up, they want me to wait for tomorrow. The very same tomorrow that may never come. That tomorrow that is not promised. So I must wait for uncertainty, instead of paving my own life, dreams and meeting opportunity as I go along. They mean well, I know that. But I can’t wait. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I can’t- anything.

I am plagued by the vastness of my dreams. My mind is everywhere. Then there is this security lie that I am at war with. These man-made boundaries and industries making one feel enclosed and sheltered. They’re just money-making psychological structures. Ploys to keep you at bay. Not even the security I pay for, completely covers me. Why then are there terms and conditions?

Let me pray.

“BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD! I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU”

Ahhhh, and then I hear a clear, recognizable and soothing voice in my spirit! Peace. Thank you for visiting me. I have missed you.

I slept well for the first time in a long time. I slept knowing I can do it all if I just pace myself.

I woke up and quit my job.