Keys to your happy ending

“Girls are taught a lot of things growing up;

If a guy punches you he likes you

Never trim your own bangs,

Some day you will meet a wonderful guy and get your own happy ending.

blah blah blah

Every movie we see, every story we’re told, implores us to wait for it;

this third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the expectation rule etc.

But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending, we don’t learn how to read signs.

Like,

How to tell (the difference) the ones who want us from the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who won’t.

And maybe this happy ending doesn’t include a wonderful guy.

Maybe it’s you on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for the future.

Maybe the happy ending is this:

-Knowing that all the unreturned phone calls and broken hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and the embarrassment..

YOU NEVER… EVER…ever gave up HOPE.”

Bleeding

I have no words.

I have nothing to say.

All I have are feelings.

That’s what I shall describe.

The feeling of not being enough.

The feeling of unimportance.

I’m not worthy of being fought for.

I’m cut.

Besides my words, I have a greater loss.

Loss of respect, loss of fortitude.

I’m numb.

So all I had, (which were my feelings) are gone.

There’s some pain.

My heartbeat thumps harder, my bones rattle, my body slouches. I feel lifeless.

My aorta, atria and ventricles burst open. I’m bleeding.

Bleeding internally.

I’m sore. Sore for you too. Your blindness hurts. The fact that you couldn’t see me wave as I drowned.

You chose to purge me. Silly me thought you were dead to me, meanwhile I was a long gone fossil to you.

If not, then why? I have so many questions.

Actually,

I’m done

I’m out

Adieu