It’s funny how I have the MOST motivation to write when I am coming from a place smothered in pain. I need to learn to find inspiration to reflect when my days are brighter too.
What I do know is what I feel now, someone else has felt before. What I have already conquered someone out there is about to enter this dreaded dark season. BUT, we live and we learn.
Okay, so I’m thinking of ending this post on a light note, you know the Fairytale kind-of ending, but we will see what lessons God wants us all to learn.
This is my testimony.
I have always respected and nursed friendships. Even the toxic kinds, just for time’s sake. I always think that a particular friendship worked at some stage so I don’t see the point of calling it quits now. I feel that the flame is gone but here I always am, trying to reignite the spark. Call me Lady Liberty if you will LOL
I think here lies my problem . The fact that I am ALWAYS there. When a friend’s parent dies, I’ll be there. When there’s a fight, I support. When a friend’s boyfriend breaks her heart. I mould. When she achieves something, I celebrate. It seems as if I have no life right? Because I am absent of myself and there for you.
I like it though. Loyalty is something I hold dear to my heart. I feel like I am my brother’s keeper. So it isn’t really a problem. More of a purpose.
Whether you’re close or far away from me, I’m sure I’ve tried to help you in some way. At some point I expected a return on investment but seems I was looking in the wrong place. My reward is in Christ. Only He has my back.
I learnt that as much as I put in I sometimes won’t get the same out. So what I do out of my heart can not be calculated. God says “Blessed are the persecuted” and the world dubs the same idea as having “Haters.” So no matter how much Right I do, something or someone else will have something negative to say. Yes I was burnt and will continue to be, but life goes on. We learn lessons in order to grow.
Whatever it is that you feel was unfair or unjust, always make sure that your intent and message was positive. Someone is watching, a reward is being prepared for you.
Heal and Trust.